Past Trails

Theme: Just Another Excuse to Drink and Follow Flour to Find More Libations

Where: Franconia-Springfield Metro Station

Start Directions: The outdoor park and ride lot diagonal to the bus bays if the weather is good. Inside the 6th floor parking garage by the elevators if the weather is shitty.

Hares: Cup Dispenser, Screeching Eargasm, and Just Mackenzie

Hash Cash: $6

Trail Description: Trail will be A-A, runners 5-ish and walkers 3-ish. Most of trail will be laid live, so don’t piss off the hares or they will make the runners closer to 10 miles and the walkers less than 2 miles. Shiggy will be less than 1.69 for both trails if the weather is good, but 10.69 if the weather is snowy or icy. Bring a chair for circle, vessel for booze (contrary to her name Cup Dispenser will NOT have extra drinking cups for wanks who don’t bring their vessel), and snowshoes, ice skates or X-country skis if the weather is wintery. Everything will be outdoors, so dress accordingly. On after to be decided by the pack after circle: there are plenty of places willing to feed and lubricate you in the Springfield area.

Cup Dispenser’s cell is 724.831.6560. Texting is best, especially if you get lost on trail.

TRAIL STARTS AT 5PM

December 25th (Xmas Day) trail – prelube starts at 3PM, Trail at 5PM!

Prelube starting at 3PM (unless you do MVH3 and don’t leave) at 31 Garden Drive Alexandria, VA
Start of TRAIL: 0.3 miles from Prelube at. corner of Wheeler Ave and S. Gordon Street Alexandria, VA 22304
https://goo.gl/maps/rhwn8qu8tm1Wdg1c6

Cost: $6

Hares: Pay Per View and Tour duh Whore, assisted by the MVH3 hares (Unholy Nipples and Black Cock Blocker)

Theme: Ugly Xmas Sweater and tacky lights trail

Other details: PLEASE RSVP – we have no clue what to expect with trail being on a holiday. The prelube/end location is the end of MVH3. If you don’t have a life, spend your day off drinking with friends by making it a double header. DCH4 will be a casual stroll checking out the neighborhood lights. More than likely will have a bit of “holiday spirits” on trail. Dry trail, bring a flashlight just in case.

Where:  Cabin John Park – approximate address 10900 Westlake Dr, Bethesda, MD 20817 https://goo.gl/maps/yoMCsJ4qxrozxWnT8

Start directions:  There are at least 3 entrances to Cabin John park and the roads are not connected, please be sure to use the entrance that is directly across from the MoCo Schools Bethesda Maintenance Depot, not the park entrance for the ice rink and ball fields. Park at the far (south) end of the parking lot.

When: 11/20/2021 2pm *daylight savings early start time enacted*

Hares:  Canned P***y, Late Nite Drive Thru

How Much: $6.00

Trail Description:  A-A, Length: Runners – 3+ miles with a water crossing, Walkers 2+ miles will stay dry, Shiggy level: 1-2, expect a few thorns, dog friendly (not sure about on-after), stroller option available, PI still possible at this time of year, hopefully the bees are past their prime, bring a dry bag if you are a runner and a headlamp if you are concerned about being out after sunset

Themes:  National Absurdity Day; Thanksgiving pre-lube

On-After:  Lahinch Tavern & Grill – 7747 Tuckerman Ln, Potomac, MD 20854

Hare(s) Phone #: (773) 531-3209

Another way to express interest in haring trails has been established, the new app will even track trail counts. Try it out and let us know what you think. https://harriercentral.com/

Start: Crown Beer and Wine (303 Copley Pl, Gaithersburg, MD 20878)

Date: 11/13 @ 3pm

Hare: No Child left behind

Details:
Pay as you go trail featuring three beer stops and the trail will be live. 4 miles with a turkey split to 2.5 ish.

Where:  Cabin John Park – approximate address 10900 Westlake Dr, Bethesda, MD 20817 https://goo.gl/maps/yoMCsJ4qxrozxWnT8

Start directions:  There are at least 3 entrances to Cabin John park and the roads are not connected, please be sure to use the entrance that is directly across from the MoCo Schools Bethesda Maintenance Depot. Park at the far (south) end of the parking lot.

When: 11/20/2021 2pm *daylight savings early start time enacted*

Hares:  Canned P***y, Late Nite Drive Thru

How Much: $6.00

Trail Description:  A-A, Length: Runners – 3+ miles with a water crossing, Walkers 2+ miles will stay dry, Shiggy level: 1-2, expect a few thorns, dog friendly (not sure about on-after), stroller option available, PI still possible at this time of year, hopefully the bees are past their prime, bring a dry bag if you are a runner and a headlamp if you are concerned about being out after sunset

Themes:  National Absurdity Day; Thanksgiving pre-lube

On-After:  Lahinch Tavern & Grill – 7747 Tuckerman Ln, Potomac, MD 20854

Hare(s) Phone #: (773) 531-3209

Next DCH4 trail – Halloween 🎃 trail!!

Date: Saturday 10/30 at 3PM

Cost: $6

Location : intersection of Floyd and Wheeler Avenue- plenty of street Parking. Approximate address 3945 Wheeler Ave .

Directions: from I395 to Duke Street East, take right on Floyd. Park on Floyd or Wheeler.

Metro: blue/yellow line to King Street station. Check bus schedules for rides to start.

Other details: A to A’. Prelube and on in at Port City Brewery. Bring dry shoes and layers. Walkers about 3 miles , runners 4-5. Dog and stroller friendly options . Costumes not required but highly recommended. Dogs allowed outside at brewery, bring credit card, ID and smart phone for easy ordering. Food truck on premises but not sure what is scheduled for that day.

What: First and possibly only DCH4-DCPH4 Hank Dietles triathlon. Bike 15K, R*n or walk 5K and drink 1L.

When: Sept 25th. Start for DCPH4 will be noon. Start for the DCH4 trail will be 3 PM.

Where: Grosvenor Metro for both trails. Look for chalk pointing to a field southeast of the station. There might be free parking on the street. I will get back to you on that.

Cost: free

Hares: No Child Left Behind, FeyLAY! and Standard Deviant.

Misc: Bring some cash on the bike trail if you want to stop for fancy beer. Your hares will provide a refreshing beverage check but save your hash cash for Hank Dietle’s Tavern. We want them to remain in business.

Location: Armistead Boothe Park 520 Cameron Station Blvd, Alexandria VA 22304

Theme: “Best Beer Check EVER!!” Trail

Hares: Tour duh Whore and Pay Per VIew

Other Deets: A to A’. Run/walker trails. Bring a dry bag, lots of shiggy in the area depending on how the hare feel. Always walker and dog friendly. Bring ID on trail! Bring plastic money on trail!

Cost: 0.00 but pay as you go – bring ID and credit/debit card, pay as you go

Driving Directions: Take I495 to Van Dorn Street Exit, Head North on Van Dorn Street. Take a right on S. Pickett Street. Right on Cameron Station Blvd. The park is on your right before you get to the Samual Tucker Elementary School.

Metro: Go to Van Dorn Street Station on the Blue line. It’s a mile from the metro. Or uber. Or take a DASH busor MetroBus. Check schedule.

SH*T

$5 – CASH ONLY

8/24 at 7:00 pm

22630 Davis Dr #225, Sterling, VA 20164

Google Map Link

OTH3

$5 – CASH ONLY

8/25 at 7 pm

Parking lot of At Home store

2851 Dale Blvd, Dale City, VA 2219

Google Map Link

EWH3

$7 – rego here

8/26 at 6:45 pm, pack away 7:15 pm

Follow marks from the Crystal City Metro to find start

Crystal City Metro 1750 S Clark St, Arlington, VA 22202.

Google Map Link

CCH3

$10 – Rego here

8/27 at 8 pm

parking lot across from 1200 Towson St, Baltimore MD 21230

Google Map Link

SMUTTy

$5 – cash

8/28 at 10 am, pack away 10:30 am

Start is in the parking lot at the coordinates 38°28’03.7″N 77°01’44.9″W

Closest address is

Chapel Point State Park

Chapel Point Road, Port Tobacco, Maryland 20677

Google Map Link

FUH3

$5 – cash

4 pm

Brewery is just before left side road in cul de sac

Adventure Brewing

33 Perchwood Dr

Unit 101

Fredericksburg, Va 22405

Google Map Link

H4

$5 cash

8/29 at 10 am

Fulton Elementary School

11600 Scaggsville Rd, Fulton, MD 20759

Google Map Link

BAH3

$5 cash

8/29 at 3 pm

Brock Bridge Elementary School

405 Brock Bridge Rd, Laurel, MD 20724

Google Map Link