What: Not Quite 4/20 Trail
When: Sat, April 17. Trail available after 1:00. Even though some of us are vaccinated, we’re still doing social distancing.
Where: Kemp Mill Rd and Old Randolph Rd (1,000 ft south of regular Randolph Rd), Wheaton-Glenmont. A little further and you can park on either side of Kemp Mill.
Hares: Standard Deviant, Pervarotti and maybe other S2H3 hashers.
Trail: Obviously this will be a perverted deviant trail, though you might be able to stay dry. Runner/Walker split. Maybe Turkey/Eagle split. Probably a beer check.
Bring a little cash if you want the 2021 S2H3 t-shirt.
Huh?: 301-919-8109
Past Trails
DCH4 Trail #2143: 4/3/21 1pm onwards – An Eggless Omelet for Easter
Start: Behind 14015 New Hampshire Ave, Colesville, MD 20904
Hares: Extra Creamy Dog Crap
Trail: Flat, Dry, No Shiggy, all on gentle groomed trails. In fact, the hare will coat the trail with fluffy pink bunny slippers. So if you’re not on bunny slippers you know you’re lost. Runners trail with walkers shortcut. Beverage check and beverages at the end. If the Easter Bunny (hare) is in a good mood there might be some easter eggs on the trail.
Friendlies: Dogs on leash & strollers all good
Start Location: Parking lot behind 14015 New Hampshire Ave, Colesville, MD 20904. extra parking at Colesville Local Park 614 Hobbs Dr.
Start Time: Chalk talk at 3PM HST (No, I’m not getting up early for you wankers.)
Hare Phone: ECDC (249-644-4477)
SPECIAL NOTE: This is not exactly an iso-trail, but keep in mind there is still a pandemic. Bring a mask and observe social distancing. Bring something to drink from (like your vessel), and something to sit on. (The CDC says that being within three feet of a COVID infected person for 10 min. gives you a 50% chance of being infected. Doubling the distance cuts the risk by 75%, cutting the time in half cuts the risk by 50%, wearing a mask cuts the risk by 10%. For any of this to do you any good you need to find an infected person. If the are 5000* active cases in Montgomery county that is 0.5% of the population. Multiply 0.005 by the number of people present to get you chances of encountering an infected person. That is probably much greater than your chances of getting laid. If you need help with this, ask Math Sucks.) (*this is a guess, if you know a more accurate number let me know.)
DCH4 Trail #2142 – 3/27/21 1pm onwards, Arlington, VA
Where – James Hunter Dog Park – 1299 N. Herndon St, Arlington VA 22201(corner of N. Herndon St & 13th St)
Theme – Turkey Twat’s 46th Birthday
Hare – Turkey Twat – (734)-709-4999
Description – A – A, Length 3 ish miles.
Shiggy meter – 3 mostly pavement with cuts through some parks.
Dog friendly, they can hang out at the dog park before and after the trail.
Can be made stroller friendly – contact hare for map at naikarlington@gmail.com
DCH4 Trail #2141 – 3/20/21 12pm onwards – Adelphi, MD
Where: Adelphi Mill Recreation Center – 8402 Riggs Rd, Adelphi, MD 20783
Hares: Late Nite Drive Thru & Ass Spelunker
Theme: LNDT Turns 45!
Trail Description: A-A, Length 3-ish miles, Shiggy meter: 3, BRING a dry bag – good chance of getting wet on trail, tough dog friendly, not stroller friendly
Hare(s) Phone #: (757) 636-2524
DCH4 Trail for 3/6/21
Hares: Dyke Tyson and Pay Per View
Start/End: Parking Garage of Barcroft Sports and Fitness Center
4200 S Four Mile Run Drive Arlington, VA 22206
https://goo.gl/maps/9sFnX5yRXFvVSpXN6
Trail Lengthen
Runners Trail: 3-5
Walkers Trail: 2-3
Shiggy Rating:
Low, it’s Arlington
Stroller: Yes
Dog Friendly” Yes
DCH4 #2139: A VD Cure, 2/20/21 12pm onwards, Silver Spring, MD
Where: North Four Corners Local Park – 315 University Blvd W, Silver Spring, MD 20901
May Google be your guide!
Still recovering from last weekend’s VD? This week’s hares have the cure in the form of a trail!
When: Saturday, 2/20 by noon, maybe before
Who: Princess Jizzmine, (s)Kooter Kuntae, and you FFs
Runners: around 7 miles, shiggy rating 4
Walkers: less than runners on both parts
Strollers: as long as it’s not icy/muddy you should be ok
Doggo: Just Riley would give two thumbs of approval if he only had thumbs
Note from the hare razor: Need hares for 2/27 & 3/13! Or for anytime April and beyond.
DCH4 Trail #1238: 2/13/21 1pm onwards, Arlington, VA
Where: Barcroft Park – 4200 S Four Mile Run Dr Arlington, VA 22206
Hare: Dyke Tyson
Walkers: about 3 miles, stroller and dog friendly, follow GREEN
Runners: about 5 miles, some off roading but no bushwhacking, dog friendly, tough stroller friendly, follow PINK
Hearts will be checks for V day, 3 blobs is on.
Hare cell: 703-635-9575
DCH4 Trail #2137: 2/6/21 1pm onwards, Rockville, MD
Where: Lake Frank parking lot, 15184 Avery Rd, Derwood (Rockville), MD
Why: Because it’s not Lake F’ing Needwood
Hares: Standard Deviant and Pervarotti
Trail is A to A. Dog friendly. Several runner/walker splits with walker trail probably under 3 miles.
Huh?: 301-919-8109
SAFETY NOTE: park police hang out in parking lot so be discrete. We will give you at least one Beer/Shot Check on trail.
DCH4 Trail #2136 – 1/30/21 1pm onwards, Exploring Paint Branch
Where: Martin Luther King Jr Recreational Park, Jackson Rd, White Oak/Silver Spring MD (parking lot next to tennis courts)
Walkers – 3 miles, trails & flat shiggy
Runners – an Extra Creamy runners loop!
Cost: $0 – BYO everything
Hares: Pervarotti and Extra Creamy Dog Crap
Hare cell: 240-413-2388
D’erections:
From DC Beltway, exit 28A on MD-650/New Hampshire Ave North.
After 3 miles, right on Jackson Rd.
0.7 miles to parking lot on the right, just before the tennis courts (just after the MLK Swim Center).
From Rte 29, north on New Hampshire Ave for 0.9 miles, right on Jackson Rd, then 0.7 miles to parking lot on the right, just before the tennis courts (just after the MLK Swim Center).
NEED HARES ASAP!!!
Listen up half minds, with a new year cums a new calendar (funny how that works). As of today (1/10/21) we have zero hares for all of 2021. If you would like to hare in this new and hopefully better year then 2020. Please sign up to hare, or there will be no trail. Contact the hareraiser Late Nite Drive Thru (latenitedrivethru@gmail.com) or your Grand Master Ass Spelunker (ass.spelunker.h3@gmail.com) if you would like to hare.
That is all, you can now go back to your regularly drunken lives.