Past Trails

Please note the 3PM start time. If you’re there early, head to Trusty’s for a pre-lube.

When: 2018 April 28 3:00PM

Where: Sousa Bridge Wayside, 2000 M Street SE, DC

Hares: Rocket Socket, O.T.I.S.

Cost: $6

Theme:  Take your pick – In honor of Eeyore’s Birthday – make an ass of your self, for Great Poetry Day – bring a limerick to share, or for National Kiss Your Mate Day – obvious

On After: Trusty’s. Also ideal for pre-lube.

Trail: A to A. One for runners and another for walkers. No shiggy. Bag vehicle provided. Dogs should keep their hasher on a leash.
Directions for Driving: Drive to the Navy Yard neighborhood of DC and take M street east until you see wankers.  If you drive into the Anacostia River you have gone 1,800 feet too far.
Directions for Metro: Take the Orang or Blue line (Silver doesn’t go all the way on Saturdays, the stuck up b**ch) to Potomac Avenue Metro Station. Fallow the marks SE for .4 miles to start.

Please note the 3PM start time. If you’re there early, head to Town Center Market for a pre-lube.

When: 2018 April 21 3:00PM
Where: Riverdale MARC Station, Riverdale Park, MD 20737
Hares: Mrs. Shmegg, Fey^LAY!, I. E. Shmegg
On After: Town Center Market next to the MARC station. Also ideal for pre-lube. They have a great selection of draft beer. Order food for delivery, just like that other place with MoCo liquor license #1.
Trail: A to A or A’. One for runners and another for walkers. Not much shiggy. Runners should bring a dry bag. Dogs should keep their hasher on a leash.
Directions for Driving: From the Beltway, take exit 23 for Kenilworth Ave. South towards Bladensburg. Go about 3 miles and turn right on East-West Highway/MD 410. Go about half a mile and turn left on 49th Ave. Make the first right on Queensbury Rd. Go a couple blocks and look for train tracks, the Town Center Market, and wankers. Park and hash.
Directions for Metro: Take the Green Line to Prince George’s Plaza. Catch the F4 bus towards New Carrollton or walk about a mile East on Queensbury Road.

 THURSDAY 4/12: EVERYDAY IS WEDNESDAY H3

EWH3 #1062: The DCH4 Invasion Trail – 6:45PM Thursday April 12th – Pentagon City (Blue and Yellow lines)

Come on out and help start the weekend right off by helping us to celebrate DCH4’s 2000th run on Saturday and 40th Analversary.

When: 6:45 PM Thursday April 12th, 2018. Pack away at 7:15!

Where: Pentagon City Metro’ follow marks to Virginia Highlands Park, Corner of 15th Street S and S Hayes Street.

Pre-Lube will be at Chevy’s on S. Hayes Street.

Hares:
Please Step Away from the Whores, Can’t find Pussy In a Haystack, Ass
Spelunker, Deetz Nutz and maybe a mystery hare (if we can dig one out of
the grave)

Miscellaneous Crap: Trail is A to A’. Trail is nice and short for all the old timers so don’t expect a marathon training run. It should be a nice night. Pack smartly and bring a headlamp & mug! Be smart, have fun.

Last trains out of Pentagon City Metro station:

Green Line Yellow Line Red Line Fort Totten 11:10 PM

Blue Line Franconia-Springfield 11:53 PM

Yellow Line Huntington 11:29 PM

Silver Line Blue Line Largo Town Center 11:19 PM

On After: Champps! We have our own room in the back. (awaiting confirmation from managers)

Specials: You are all special! (will try to get something when managers call me)

FRIDAY 4/13: DCH4 HOSTS BELTWAY BOB

When: 4/13/18 4-8pm

Where: The Barking Dog – 4723 Elm St Bethesda, MD 20814

Happy Hour directions: Meet on the main floor, if we stay long enough, we can go upstairs to their dance floor, which opens around 9pm.

Metro directions: Take the red line to Bethesda. Take the elevators (not the escalators) up to the corner of Montgomery & Wisconsin Ave. Turn right to cross Montgomery Ave and go south along Wisconsin Ave for 2 blocks to Elm St. Turn right on Elm St – the Barking Dog will be halfway down the hill on the right.

Parking directions: Park at the Bethesda-Elm garage (4903 Elm St). Download the “Mobile Now” app or use quarters at the meter. Rate is $1.25/hour until 10pm. Once parking is squared away, exit the garage using the Elm St entrance, turn right to proceed to the corner of Elm St & Woodmont Ave. Cross Woodmont Ave and walk a 1/2 block up the hill. The Barking dog will be on your left.

Happy Hour Specials:

$1 off drafts
$3, $4, and $5 beer specials
$5 Jameson, Absolut, Captain Morgan, or Jack Daniels
$5 small plates

SATURDAY 4/14

Saturday 8:30am: Tortoise & Hare 5K

Register Here: https://www.webscorer.com/register?raceid=128676

When: 4/14/18 8:30am – sharp! Get there early to pick up your number.

Where: Greenbelt Nursery School, 15 Crescent Rd., Greenbelt, MD 20770

Why: Fundraiser supporting Mrs. Shmegg’s nursery school – it’s the 10th anniversary of DCH4 drinking to support the kids. And because we know there are some elitist over-achievers that want to do 3 trails in 1 day! Please note that this is a fundraiser. If you rego and don’t show up, that’s OK. The giveaway is a spiffy Tortoise & Hare cotton T-shirt. Sign up soon and Mrs. Shmegg will reserve the color you want. Choose from red, green, black, or pink.

Start directions: 495/95 Beltway to Exit 23 Kenilworth Ave. North towards Greenbelt. Right at the light onto Crescent Rd. Go about 1.5 miles and turn right at the stop sign past Greenbelt Library. Park and r*ce.

Metro directions: Take the green line to Greenbelt. Take the G12 or G14 bus. Try Google transit. From the bus stop at Roosevelt Center or Southway, continue on Crescent Rd. a few hundred yards to the parking lot behind the library and community center.

Hares: Blinded by the Spooge, Incredible Edible Shmegg & Mrs. Shmegg

Trail Description: Flat, scenic path around Greenbelt Lake. 2 beer checks. Wear your kilt.

Saturday 10:00am: Mount Vernon H3 Trail #1641

Register Here: https://hashrego.com/events/mvh3-pre-lube-trail-for-dch4-2000

When: 4/14/18 10am

Theme: “If you don’t start in the morning you can’t drink all day.” Let’s get the party started! MVH3 pre-lube trail for the DCH4 2000th trail and 40th Anniversary Party.

Where: Rock Creek Forest Elementary School – 8330 Grubb Rd, Chevy Chase MD 20815

How Much: $6

Includes: Trail, snacks, food, and assorted beverages. Vegetarian and gluten free options.

Hares: S’not, French Toasted, For Sale or Rent

Trail Description: A to B. All trails in woods after start. Runner’s is wet, some overland and nice hills. Possibility of some brambles and/or PI. Walker’s shiggy level – low, except for walker eagle split, otherwise all paths and bridges. Dry trail if it doesn’t rain, otherwise expect mud. Bring dry shoes/clothes, maybe a chair. Bag vehicle provided.

Dog Friendly Factor: Leashed at all times.

Stroller Friendly Factor: Walker’s trail good with a couple of minor pick-ups. Runner’s trail no.

Metro directions: Take the red line to Bethesda (or Silver Spring). Take the J2 bus towards Silver Spring (or towards Montgomery Mall if getting on in Silver Spring). Bus runs every 20 minutes. Try Google transit.

Hare #: 443-910-7137

Saturday 3:00PM: DCH4 40th Anniversary & 2000th trail

Theme: National Lampoon’s “Hash” Animal House

When: 4/14/18 3pm (Pre-lube starts at 2pm; sign-in starts at 2:15pm)

Where: TacoArepa – 4905 Fairmont Ave Bethesda, MD 20814

Start directions: Beer garden of TacoArepa

Metro directions: Take the red line to Bethesda. Take the escalators up to the street level, turning left onto Old Georgetown Rd. Cross over Old Georgetown Rd when possible.  Continue on Old Georgetown Rd for 3 blocks and turn right onto Fairmont Ave.  TacoArepa is almost to the end of the block on the left.

Parking directions: 2 large parking garages are located on each block by start and end. Park at the Cordell-St. Elmo garage (4935 St. Elmo Avenue, Bethesda, MD 20814) or at the Woodmont Corner garage (7730 Woodmont Avenue, Bethesda, MD 20814).

Hares (Trail): Duckbill Cookiepuss, Incredible Edible Shmegg, Fey Lay!

Trail Description: Shiggy factor: TBD; A to A’

On-After: Tapp’d 4915 St. Elmo Ave Bethesda, MD 20814

On-After details: 4 hours of their house beers and wine, appetizers, free billiards, and both a band and a dj. Tapp’d features a full wrap-around bar with over 40 draft beers and a game room. Their full beer selection, dinner menu, and other game room activities (skee-ball, foosball, pinball, photo booth) will be available for purchase. We are welcome to stay until final closing, which is around 3am.

Commemorate our founding by dressing as your favorite character from the cult 1978 movie, National Lampoon’s Animal House.

Beer selection includes:
Miller Lite
Yuengling
Blue Moon
Tapp’d Hoppy Blonde
Tapp’d White Ale
Tapp’d Irish Red
Tapp’d IPA
Tapp’d Nitro Cream Ale

Organizer’s phone #: LNDT 240-274-3707

SUNDAY 4/15

Sunday 10:00am: Hangover H3 trail #96

Keep up to date with the trail details here: http://hangoverhash.com/trails.
$5.00 US
A to A’
Hares away – 9:45AM
Pack away – 10:00AM

Theme: DCH4 2000th Hangover KEEP YER DRUNK GOING Trail!

Hare(s): Cum Brew Lay, Queen of the Jungle

Start: Bethesda Metro Station (Red line) – 7450 Wisconsin Ave, Bethesda, MD
Follow marks to start.

Metro Accessibility: Bethesda Metro, you wanker!

D’Erections: https://goo.gl/maps/S7nLoYfvMwJ2
Parking: Hooray for Sunday!

On On On Brunch: Gringos and Mariachi – 4928 Cordell Ave, Bethesda, MD
https://www.gringosandmariachis.com/

Brunch Specials: Tequila, baby!

Trail Length (Approx):
Eagle- 6 Miles
Turkey- 5 Miles
Penguin – 3 Miles

Shiggy Rating: (1=None to 10=Jungle Bushwacking)
Eagle – 4
Turkey – 4
Penguin – 2

Dog Friendly:
Eagle – yes
Turkey – yes
Penguin – yes
Brunch – no

Stroller Friendly:
Eagle – yes
Turkey – yes
Penguin – yes
Brunch – yes

Sunday 3:00PM: WH4 #1805/BAH3  #1588 joint trail

When: 4/15/18 3pm

Theme: Animal House Walk of Shame

Where: 2900 Linden Lane Silver Spring, MD 20910

How Much: $6

Start directions: Parking lot overlooking the 495 beltway

Metro directions: Take the red line to Forest Glen, metro is single-tracking at downtown DC stations (Dupont to Judiciary Sq); start is 3/4 mile from metro. If coming from Bethesda, catch the J2 bus to Silver Spring (runs every 20 mins), then catch the Ride-On 5 bus to Twinbrook; walk 1 block to start. Contact the hares to coordinate a ride from Forest Glen metro.

Driving: Take the beltway to exit 31/31B (Georgia Ave Southbound). Turn right after .2 mile onto Seminary Place. Turn right at the first stop sign onto Seminary Rd. Turn left at the first stoplight onto Forest Glen Rd (after crossing over the 495 beltway). Turn right into the 2nd parking lot adjacent to the building (before re-crossing the 495 beltway).

Hares: Late Nite Drive Thru, Mudflap, Ass Spelunker

Trail Description: A to A. Headlamps, headlamps, headlamps! Runners will need headlamps for tunnels and dry shoes for after trail. Walkers will be on a pavement, stroller friendly trail. Bag vehicle provided.

On-After: Denizens Brewery in downtown Silver Spring

Hare #: 240-274-3707

DCH4 Trail 1999 – Saturday, April 7th – DCH4 invades the 2nd leg of Hash-a-thon!

When: 130PM!!! You will be caravanned to start of trail #2 from start location at 1:30pm!! Trail starts promptly at 2pm.

Where: Hillendale Commuter Lot, Dale City VA – right next to Dale City Volunteer Fire Station 13

The first ever “The Room” – themed trail. (Yeah, yeah, we know that E-dub appropriately had a Disaster Artist-themed trail last Fall, but it’s not really the same thing.)
There will be footballs, red strappy dresses, spoons, Golden Gate bridges, and plenty of “Oh Hai”s!
Short runner/walker trails followed by a screening of The Room!

Hares: Quick Closing and Anal Fission (even though it was totally PITA’s idea)
Start Location: Fort C.F. Smith Park, Arlington
2411 N. 24th St. Use 2222 N. 24th St. in GPS to get you to the parking lot entrance. (Don’t turn in to the house driveway you wanker!. Look left to see the entrance to the parking lot!)

Time: 2pm
Cost: $7 – small giveaway included

Directions: Spout Run Pkwy to Lorcom Ln, right on Edgewood, right on N 24th. About 5 houses past 23rd, parking lot entrance is on the left.

Run/Walk Details: Short-ish runners trail + separate walker trail, A-B. Probably stroller friendly, doggie friendly fur sure.

On After: Arlington VFW (2116 19th st. N Arlington,VA) Sadly, no pets not allowed inside the on-after. Plus, it’s basically a bar. Bring kiddos at your own risk.

Movie screening: The movie The Room is rated R. It is not for children. It shows simulated sex.  (If the baby cries during the movie, give ’em to Quick Closing. She’s the baby whisperer.)

Details, rants/complaints: Call someone who cares! Oh, Hai Mark!

Start location: U Street/African-American Civil war memorial/Cardozo Metro (Closer to the 10th st. Exit)

Hares: Shitty Porn Story

Time: 2:00 PM

Cost: $6

Theme is Lion King! aka Royal Jungle Pussy! (Because they’re performing the show this week.)

Details: Tail is A-B, stroller and dog friendly. Very little shiggy.

On-After- Duffy’s (2106 Vermont ave. Washington, DC) Don’t be lame. Do trail first then go to the on-after. Always leave camp!

Weather considerations click HERE.

Looking for something to do on St. Patrick’s day? Get your green on and drink some green beer.

Start Location: Clarendon Metro (3100 Wilson Blvd. Arlington, VA)

Time: 2pm

Theme: Green Beer

Hares: Cheese Jizz, Capitol Cockshare

Cost: Pay as you go pub crawl.

Deets: Pay as you drank crawl. wear green, drink green, get out of my swamp!
2-3pm Clarendon Grill
3-4 Mister Days
5-6 Oz
6-7 Whitlows Rooftop
8-9 Hunan #1
10-11 Freddie’s (This is a fair piece away from Human #1, just sayin’)
11-Kickout Crystal city restaurant (Crystal City Sports Pub?)

Overview:

1st leg

2nd leg:

Hares: Count Crackula and Front Office

Start Location: Count Crackula and Front Office House (10426 Inwood Ave. Silver Spring, MD 20902)

Time: 2pm

Cost: $9

Directions: Beltway 495 to MD 97 Georgia Ave. North toward Wheaton. Right at 4th light at Dennis, left on Inwood – Park on street.
Metro: Red Line to Forest Glen. 1 mile from house. If you need a lift call Crackula 301-332-7073.

Run/Walk Details: CC length runners trail paved and unpaved and a shorter walkers trail. Trail is A-A and is stroller friendly.

On After at the House: Hot food and beverages provided.

Details, rants/complaints: Count Crackula @ 301-332-7073

Where: Edison Hight School
5801 Franconia Rd, Alexandria, VA 22310

Time: 2PM

How much: $9

Hares: Tour duh Whore and Pay Per View

Directions via Metro: Blue line to Van Dorn Street metro station. Uber, walk, bus or walk to start (approx 1.5 miles).

Driving: I 495 to Van Dorn Street Exit. South on Van Dorn Street. Left on Franconia Road. Take a right into Edison High School.

Other Deets: Trail is A to B. Stroller/dog friendly. Bring dry bag , plan on shiggy (even on walkers). Drag any christmas trees you find on trail with you. Bon-fire and food at the end.

On After: 5951 Franconia Road. (Never-leave-campers will be put to work!)