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Hash Trash

DCH4 Trail# 2224 – 2/17 @ 2pm – SWILL TEAM SIX!!

February 15, 2024 by Ass Spelunker Leave a Comment

// TOP SECRETIVE SQUIRREL // IN THE LIEUTENANT COCKÓ BEL GRÃNDE// START TRANSMISSION // WARNING ORDER ATTENTION ALL SWILL TEAM 6 (ST6) MEMBERS (AND POTENTIAL RECRUITS), COMMAND AND CONTROL (C2). RETRIEVE BEER FOR THE CUMMING SPRING! ALL HANDS ON DECK! TIME 1400. LOCATION: Takoma Station: 38.976268295548, -77.01706230561825. HARES: IN THE LIEUTENANT COCKÓ BEL GRÃNDE & COCKÓ BEL GRÃNDE & INVIZABITCH (CPO). //RULES OF ENGAGEMENTS LISTED BELOW//. LEAVE NO BEER BEHIND! // END OF TRANSMISSION //
Location: 7611 Piney Branch Rd, Silver Spring, MD 20910
Hares: Cocko Bell Grande and Invisabitch
Time: 2pee em
Cost: $7 for those not doing Swill Team Six, Less if you are doing the challenge since you will be bringing your own beer. (Details on Swill Team 6 at bottom of this page)
Distance: TBD
Shiggy: TBD
Are you ready for something other than the same ol’ style of trail? Are you tired of running around and only getting one lousy beer check with crappy beer? Why not come out and complete a real Swill Team 6 mission? You can bring your own 6 pack of good stuff on trail instead of the toxic sludge you are used to! For those of you who complete this swill team 6 mission you will receive a patch for completion if you do not already have one! Any method you choose to carry the sacred nectar will suffice.
SWILL TEAM 6 DETAILS
For anyone who cares to know all the official rules of this event, I present to you every hairy detail you could possibly want to know:

1. The following are the rules of engagement and standard operating procedures for any and all Swill Team 6 missions as directed by SW6 Admiral Shuttlecock. Revision 1.2 (section: Mission Standards 3,4) Swill Team 6 Operative Requirements Selectee must complete the requirements listed below to become a fully inducted operative of SW6.

a. On a Swill Team 6 Mission (a pre designated trail) the Selectee Must complete the entire trail. “Zenning or Booze hounding” is not authorized.

b. During the Swill Team mission, the selectee must carry a six pack of standard 12oz beer cans (4.2% alcohol content minimum). The beer may be of the Selectee’s choice, and must be beer.

c. At six designated check points throughout the mission, the selectee will stop and shotgun a beer. One of the six being carried will be shot gunned and will be done at designated checkpoints only, and must be completed before the selectee may continue.

d. The Mission (trail) must be completed at a runners pace. Walking the entire trail is not authorized. Over watch is authorize(non-participants, but want to run Trail).

e. Hashers not trashers! Empty shotgun vessels will not be left on trial and will be carried back as proof of completion.

2. Promotion standards:

a. Upon completion of the Operative Requirements, Selectees will officially be a member of SW6 and will earn the rank of Seaman First Class.

b. For all Booze Hound that complete the Operative Requirements, these members will earn the rank of Petty Officer. Members who are Non Booze Hounds will receive this promotion after completing Booze Hound.

c. To earn a promotion after being inducted in to the SW6, members must perform a task that is Swill Team worthy. Examples: Hare a trail while completing the Operative Requirements Complete Operative Requirements with 24oz “tallboy or Danger Cans”.

d. Promotions will be determined by the senior member or members of Swill Team 6, and promotion rank will vary depending on the level of Swill Team intensity of the task.

e. Lastly any member or selectee who snares the hare while said person is performing the Operative Requirements will earn the title of “Swill Team Terrorist”.

f. Swill Team Terrorist will be stripped of any previous rank.

g. Terrorist will also no long be authorized to wear the Swill Team bronze eagle patch, instead replace with a Red Eagle Mission standards.

3. The following must be met in order to be an approved mission:

a. One member of SW6 must be a participant of the mission. (exception, if no SW6 member is present the mission must be approved by senior member of SW6).

b. If the Hare is not a SW6 member, they must be properly brief on mission procedures. (I.E. proper location for Shotgun checks, etc.).

c. To count as an official SW6 Mission, the hare must complete the SW6 Operative requirements, even if the hare already an inducted member of SW6.

d. When Hare is completing the SW6 Operative requirements, the hare must follow all requirements. No exception will be made, especially requirement #3.

e. It is highly recommend but not required, if the Hare is completing the Operative requirement that they have a Co-Hare.

f. Swill Team 6 is an independent entity, and in not part of any single hash. Similar to the “Wild Rover” tradition. SW6 Operatives may be members of any kennel worldwide. Missions may be on any trail that any kennel is willing to host.

4. Below is the anal rank scale: selectee – promotes to Semen Asshole after completing Basic (no-name hasher holds selectee rank until named).

Semen
Petting Orifice 2nd Class
Petting Orifice 1st Class
Chief Penetrating Orifice
Senior Chief Penetrating Orifice
Master Chief Penetrating Orifice
Master Chief of SW6 -Must hold admin rights to SW6 page
Chief Wanker Officer
Butterbar
Lieutenant Virgin Grade
In the Lieutenant
Lieutenant Cummander
Cummander
Anal Eagle
Rear End Admiral
Anal Vice Admiral
Admiral
Admiral of SW6 – Must hold admin rights to SW6 page
Can-sniffing K9 – rank held by dogs completing the mission
Terrorist – no rank, someone who snared the hare operative during a mission

5. Below is a list of known, accepted ways of promotion:

Basic – 6 cans (12 oz)- completing a mission.
Hares Away- 6 cans (12 oz) – haring a mission.
battle rattle – 6 cans (>=12 oz) – complete a mission in full tactical gear.
Prove your worth – 6 cans (16 oz)- completing a mission.
Boozehound – 6 cans (>=12 oz) + 1 liter – Complete mission and chug a liter of beer in 69 seconds (or less).
Tall Boys – 6 cans (24 oz) – completing a mission.
Juice Jedi – 6 cans (>=12 oz) + 1 bottle of soju – complete the mission then down a bottle of soju in circle.

6. Each 6 missions completed, regardless of promotions attained (i.e. Petting Orifice 1st Class by completing world traveler), will be awarded the next rank, up to Chief Penetrating Orifice. To gain rank higher than Master Chief Penetrating Orifice an operator must brief on SW6 during circle before trail, hare a trail, and write an After Action Report.

7. Below are promotions for RR:

a. World traveler – 6 cans (bottles are acceptable – don’t smash the bottle, >=12 oz, >=5% ABV) – complete at designated spots.

b. 40 oz to freedom – 40 oz + 6 cans (>=12 oz) – 40 must be empty before on-in.

c. Debrief – 64 oz + 6 cans (>=12 oz) – complete 64 oz during end circle, or on-after, within 15 mins. Vomit in circle should not be tolerated and will constitute dishonorable discharge (see below) and endless ridicule.

d. Man Down – 12 cans (>=12 oz) – complete 2 cans per designated spot.

e. Amphibious assault – 6 cans (>=12 oz) – must wear underwater mask and snorkel (breathing through the snorkel while running is optional and not recommended.

8. Below are ways to get disqualified from mission:

a. Came early – accidentally skipping marks and not going back to find them before on-in.

b. Walking dead – getting caught casually walking during mission.

c. No proof – not showing proof of completion (6 empty cans).

d. Dishonorable discharge – vomiting in circle.

9. Below are ways to get disqualified and lose rank for RR:

a. Blue falcon – get caught not carrying your own pack.

b. Cease fire – get caught intentional skipping a check and/or pouring ammunition (beer) any place other than your mouth.

Filed Under: Trail Info

DCH4 Trail# 2223 – 2/10/24 @ 2pm

February 8, 2024 by Ass Spelunker Leave a Comment

Hares: Count Crackula and Front Office
Cost: $10 (real food provided)
Start location: 10426 Inwood Avenue, Silver Spring, MD 20902
Distance: A-A, Runner: 4-5 miles / Walkers: ~3 miles
Shiggy Level: 3.69 (70% pavement, 30% off pavement)
 On-After at Casa de Crackula. Front Office will titillate your taste buds with a light meal.
Red Line Metro to Forest Glen. Call the Count at 301.332.7073 for a ride to the start. The weather looks nice, so bring a chair or something to sit on at the on-after.
Hash Cash $10 since we’re actually feeding you wankers.
Park on Inwood Avenue, toward Gridley on the right side of the street.

Filed Under: Trail Info

DCH4 Trail# 2222 – 2/3/24 @ 2pm – Groundhog Day Trail

January 31, 2024 by Ass Spelunker Leave a Comment

Join us this Saturday, February 3rd, for a trail that’s as bewildering and repetitive as a conversation with your ex! We’re celebrating Groundhog Day at Third Hill Brewing, Silver Spring, Maryland, where the beer flows like time loops in Punxsutawney.
Hares: Spike and Tramp-sub-stantiation
Cost: $7
Start location: Third Hill Brewing, Silver Spring (38.99216943514258, -77.02695235820548)
Distance: Runners 5-6 miles, Walkers 2-6 miles
Shiggy Level: 1.69 (Mostly sidewalks. Weather projected to be high 40s and sunny)
Pre lube and On-After: Third Hill Brewing
Prepare to relive your mistakes, just like our furry friend Phil, but with less weather forecasting and more beer! Our trail is a dizzying déjà vu adventure – you might just check your calendar twice. Will you find the trail or just end up chasing your own tail? Expect twists, turns, and maybe a few reruns, because let’s face it, we’ve all had days we wish we could do over… especially after a few beers.
Don’t forget your sense of humor and a pair of sturdy running shoes – you’ll need both to navigate this maze of merriment. And remember, just like Bill Murray, you’re doomed (or blessed?) to repeat this day until you get it right. So, whether you’re a speedy hare or a leisurely tortoise, come out and embrace the Groundhog Day spirit.
Post-trail, we’ll converge at Third Hill Brewing – a place so cozy, even a groundhog would ditch its burrow. Raise a glass (or three) and toast good company, and the hope that tomorrow, you’ll wake up to something different… but just in case, we’ll have the beer ready.

Filed Under: Trail Info

DCH4 Trail# 2021 – 1/27/24 @ 2pm

January 24, 2024 by Ass Spelunker Leave a Comment

WHAT: Great Thaw Trail of 2024
WHEN: Saturday January 27 at 2pm
WHERE: A to B Starting at North Four Corners Park (211 Southwood Ave, Silver Spring, MD)
HARES: Sushi and Sex Pistol
HASH CASH: $7
ON AFTER: 4 Corners Pub.

Filed Under: Trail Info

DCH4 Trail #2220: 1/20/24 2pm

January 16, 2024 by LateNite DriveThru Leave a Comment

THERE WILL STILL BE TRAIL TODAY, ABOUT 2 MILES FOR BOTH. AND A FIRE PIT AT BEER CHECK (NOT OUR HOUSE). DOWN DOWNS AND ON AFTER WILL BE IN OUR HOUSE. BECAUSE, F*** THE COLD!!

Start: 8010 Piney Branch Rd, Silver Spring, MD

Parking: There is no parking directly in front of the house. There is free parking on all neighborhood streets adjacent to the house.

 

Metro/public transportation: Take the red line to Takoma or Silver Spring metro (use the transit app to help plan). From Takoma, take the 14 bus. From Silver Spring, take the 16 bus. Both buses drop off within 1/2 block of our house. House is equally distant from both metros, approximately 1.2 miles.

Hares: Ass Spelunker and Late Nite Drive Thru

Cost: $10 – includes trail beer, 3 kegs at the end, pizza, and snacks

 

Trail notes: Typical walkers (2.5mi) & runners (3.5mi) trails. Lots of hills with a mix of urban and light woods shiggy. A good chance for damp shoes since the snow is unlikely to melt prior to Saturday.

 

On-after: Bring a white elephant gift to exchange with others – gift should be unique for hasher entertainment, but don’t bring trash either. Booze is always a good gift (please do not exceed $30).

 

Expect us to recruit you into a Mismanagement position or as a hare for 2024. Plan to sign up for something! AGM will start first, followed by the white elephant, which will both occur indoors.

 

We will have the firepit going, so bring a camp chair and warm clothing for outside following the shenanigans.

Filed Under: Trail Info

DCH4 Trail# 2219 – 1/13/24 @ 2pm

January 10, 2024 by Ass Spelunker Leave a Comment

Start: 2503 Dennis Ave, Silver Spring, MD 20902

Hares: Princess Jizzmine and Mystery Crew

Cost: $7

Details: Walkers: Stroller Friendly, Pavement 2 miles. Runners: Not stroller friendly, 4-5/10,4 miles

On After: Limerick Pub (11301 Elkin st. Wheaton, MD)

What to Bring: Hash cash (PayPal and Venmo available) Clean and dry clothes and shoes, positive attitude, Vessel, and whistle

Forest Glen metro pick-up available – text pita #301-412-3215

Filed Under: Trail Info

DCH4 Trail# 2218 – 1/6/24 @ 10am

January 4, 2024 by Ass Spelunker Leave a Comment

**UPDATE! TRAIL IS AN INVASION OF MOUNT VERNON AT 10am***

 

Start:

South Capitol Street between E St & I St underneath Southeast Fwy (MD 295)

Lat/Long: 38.88160145602044, -77.00929961368873

Nearest Metro: Capital South Station or Navy Yard

 

Google Maps: https://maps.app.goo.gl/7UjHDuZb7Bavqkqh8

Apple Maps: http://tinyurl.com/mvh31952

 

Hares: Piss N Boots, blonde roots & screetchy

 

Walkers: ~3.4 miles

 

Runners: ~5.9 miles

 

Dogs: Should be fine.

 

Strollers: Yes.

 

Trail Notes:

Trail is A-A

Minimal Shiggy

**UPDATE TRAIL IS AN INVASION OF MOUNT VERNON AT 10am***

Filed Under: Trail Info

DCH4 Trail# 2217 – 12/30 @ 2pm – 12 Down Downs of Hashmas

December 27, 2023 by Ass Spelunker Leave a Comment

 

DC Hash House Harriers will be hosting the 11th twelve down downs of Hashmas. Although we went on hiatus for 3 years, we are back this year to reinvent hashy traditions. Prepare your livers!

Where: Takoma Park Middle School (7611 Piney Branch rd. Silver Spring, MD 20910)

When: 12/30 @ 2pm

Hares: Ass Spelunker and Late Nit Drive Thru

Cost: $15 in advance via PayPal or Venmo (include your hash name please) to wen.s.ryan@gmail.com, or pay at the door $20.

Details: 12 shots plus a feast afterwards at the Spelunker-Late Nite house. Spelunker created 2 homebrews that you can enjoy at the post-lube.
This is a walkers-only stumbling trail (<2 miles) with hashy carols at each shot check. The firepit will be roaring, so please bring a camp chair and something warm to wear outside.

On After: Spelunkers and Late Nites (8010 Piney Branch Rd. Silver Spring, MD 20910)Only 4 blocks from the start.

Nearest Metro is Takoma (about 3/4 mile from start)

Crash space is available. So bring an air mattress. please don’t drink and drive.

Gripes and complaints to Spelunker (757) 636-2524 or Late Nite (240) 274-3707

Filed Under: Trail Info

DCH4 Trail# 2216 – 12/23 @ 2pm

December 23, 2023 by Ass Spelunker Leave a Comment

When: Saturday, Dec 23

Where: Riverfront Park
End of Main St, Laurel, MD 20707
https://maps.app.goo.gl/zT2keJzy6ivQqtsCA

Hare: blinded by the spooge

Cost: $7

Details:
2-3mi walkers. 4-5mi runners.

Filed Under: Trail Info

DCH4 Trail# 2215 – 12/16/23 @ 5pm

December 12, 2023 by Ass Spelunker Leave a Comment

NOTE SPECIAL START TIME OF 5pm!!!

Pitas anal birthday and Mormon Temple lights trail.

Start: 9600 Old Spring Rd, Kensington, MD 20895

Hares: Pita and crew

Cost: $10 (Includes Pizza after)

When: 5pm for drinks/socialize (Trail starts @6pm sharp)

Prelube: babycat brewery (10241 Kensington Pkwy, Kensington , MD)

Details: After trail, come back for holiday songs, fire pit & pizza.
Closest Metro is Forest Glen. If you need a pickup, call Pita @ #301-412-3215

 

 

Filed Under: Trail Info

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